


Special Delivery

by Sav_the_Ripper



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bad Dirty Talk, Bad Jokes, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Dirty Talk, Eruri Secret Santa 2015, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rimming, it's all bad who am i kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:54:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sav_the_Ripper/pseuds/Sav_the_Ripper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin is the new FedEx guy. Levi is an awkward online shopper. PWP. // written for Eruri Secret Santa 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	Special Delivery

**Author's Note:**

> First off, this is way later than I thought it would be. I’ve been traveling and got a cold but that is no excuse. My bads. Secondly, Happy Holidays to everyone! This goes out to Tumblr user eruriv for the Eruri Secret Santa 2015 event! 
> 
> [To Azriel: You said you were really into mafia AUs lately, and I'm sorry to say that I did not deliver. BUT it sparked an idea that triggered a plot and an outline, and now about 3k of a monstrous mafia AU chapter fic that is in the works. I'm not ready to debut that, but when I do, I promise I will tag you in it! I’m so excited about it.  
> For now, please enjoy this shameless PWP that includes horrible innuendos, Levi’s annoying inner monologue, and your rather specific requests of Erwin's downstairs area. ;) Finals slayed me so it's not as awesome as I would like it to be, but I wrote it with love! Here you go, and I hope you like it!]

Levi ran his hands through still-damp hair and headed out of his bedroom toward the front door. From the window on the side, he was able to glimpse the FedEx truck and a bit of blond hair. Why FedEx was here, he did not know as he wasn't expecting any new parcels until the end of the week. Levi decided, as his hand curled around the door handle, that he would not complain as That Blond Guy- his name was clearly displayed on his name tag, but Levi had always been one to pen absurd nicknames for people- was absolutely gorgeous. Pixis, or Old Bald Alcoholic, had been the delivery guy for as long as Levi had lived in this house, but had recently 'retired,' leaving the younger, hotter Erwin in his place.

To be perfectly honest, Levi was pretty convinced that the man's sudden retirement had more to do with his habit of drinking on the job than anything else. He was kind of sad to see him go; they had actually carried on some pretty decent conversations, which was more than Levi could say for most people he was forced to interact with. He was not so sad when his replacement proved himself to be not only a hot piece of ass, but a decent small-talker as well. And he always laughed at Levi's shitty humor and comments about the weather. Levi was a bit of a homebody and tended to make a lot of his purchases online, so he saw Pixis quite often, and the tallies for Blond Guy's visits were adding up as well. Again, you wouldn't hear Levi complain. Dude had that "Lucky Blue Smith meets Captain America" thing going on. He also seemed to have his life together, using FedEx as a part-time way to pay off the last of his school loans while he attended grad school. Or so he had told Levi. He was smart, dedicated, and boy, was he always looking fit in his uniform. He had said as much to Petra, his oft-traveling housemate, who encouraged him to ask Blond Guy out. He had given it some thought, truth be told.

He opened the door and leaned his hip on the doorframe in an attempt to look cool and indifferent. Erwin, on the other hand, looked quite the opposite of indifferent. His handsome face was flushed red, his navy blue eyes were wide the way a child's were when they were caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing, and the corners of his mouth were quivering slightly as though he was trying not to laugh. Levi's eyes narrowed.

_What the fuck is so funny?_

The Blond Guy cleared his throat, seeming to pull himself together, and held out his PDA with the little stylus connected to it.

"Sign, please."

Levi signed. He handed it back with his thin eyebrow raised in skeptic anticipation. The red on Erwin's cheeks brightened again as he clipped his PDA back to his belt, and reached into his parcel bag to pull out a black box. He handed it to Levi, trying not to meet his eye. Levi haughtily snatched the package, already irritated with Erwin's demeanor, but blanched when he looked at the box. The logo of "Sparticus: Sex Toy Emporium" was proudly displayed on the front, and in silver sharpie was the personalized message, 'enjoy the plugs! don't forget to rate & review!' Levi stared down at the box. When he realized that Erwin was still standing there, he let out a huff.

"So much for discreet packaging, eh?" He tried to play it off casually, but he could feel his face heating up.

"With some websites, you have to specifically select that option," Erwin shrugged knowingly.

"You would know, huh?" Levi subtly perked in interest, but did nothing to hide the mirth in his tone. He was still dreadfully mortified.

He smiled tightly, lifting his absurdly thick eyebrows, clearly trying to keep himself from laughing. "Delivery business." He even snorted a bit, quickly turning it into a fake cough.

_Bastard thinks this is so funny._

Levi glared, gray eyes glittering with annoyance. "Yeah, laugh it up, asshole. Aren't you supposed to be a professional? What is this, fifth-fuckin’-grade?" He scoffed, for effect.

Erwin quickly recovered and apologized, looking rightfully ashamed.

Levi sighed and his thoughts went amok. _Shit, I can't believe those fuckers would ship something this obnoxious. It wasn't even supposed to arrive until Thursday. There's no way I'm asking this guy out now, he probably thinks I'm some sad, lonely pervert, always jerking off at home. He's over here laughing at me. Why the hell is he still standing here anyway?_

"What, do you need another signature, or are you gonna leave me to wallow in shame?"

"Oh, right," the tall man looked somewhat crestfallen, as if frustrated about something. "I'll, uh, be on my way." He jerked his thumb back towards the FedEx truck in the driveway.

_Oh, shit. He's disappointed that I told him to get lost. Is this what I think it is? Is he into me? Guess there's only one way to find out._

"Well, since you seem to be such an expert on packages, maybe you can help me unwrap this."

 _Fuck_. Levi wanted to punch himself in the face. Why did he say that.

"Shit, that sounded like a line from a shitty 80's porno." It was the closest he could come to an apology. He really had had no idea how dirty that would sound until he said it.

Erwin smiled and fervently shook his head, "No, not at all, it was great." He paused. "I mean. Um. I'm technically still working, and uh--" Levi cuts him off.

"Oh, come off it. Pixis always went on and on about how happy he was that I was the last stop on his route. If you're interested, come in. If not, what-the-fuck-ever. We'll pretend like it never happened." He's trying so hard, at this point, to have his normal 'zero-fucks' attitude, but his heart is pounding and he's fighting back the feelings of regret that are starting to pool in his chest. He must have been desperately thirsty for a line that cheesy to come out of his mouth. _Hell, if I'm lucky, I'll have something else come in my mouth- oh my god, what is wrong with me?_

"Right," Erwin's jaw clenched and Levi could see that he was a little nervous, "after you, then." He gestured into the house, sending a few hundred butterflies into a frenzy inside of Levi's stomach. He masks his face and turns, leading Erwin inside and motioning to him to close the door and take his shoes off.

_This is happening. Blond Guy is in my house. I just propositioned him for sex and he said yes._

Levi walked into the living room, internally thanking the gods that he had just cleaned his house (again) and showered. He settles on top of the back of the couch, facing Erwin, and they stare at each other awkwardly. This had seemed like a good idea, but neither of them really knew how to proceed. Erwin ended up making the first move. He stepped in towards Levi, who moved his knees apart to allow Erwin to stand between his legs, and cupped the back of his head and kissed him.

It wasn't exactly a 'sparks fly and tensions rise' kind of kiss, as they were both hesitant and nervous, but it was...nice. Erwin's lips were plump and soft and he tasted like gum. His hands, one on Levi's neck, and the other on his hip, were large and strong. They broke apart before there was any tongue action, and the awkward staring resumed until Erwin smirked.

"Maybe you should open the box? It might... _pick things up_ a bit."

"Oh god, shut up." Levi hid his face in his hand, trying to hide the grin that took over his face. Erwin laughed quietly, as Levi grabbed the box and opened it, unwrapping two different butt plugs, a beautiful, black glass piece and a turquoise silicone one that vibrated, as well as a lube sampler kit.

Levi slowly circled the tip of one of the plugs with his index finger, looking up at Erwin through his lashes and chewing on his lip a bit. He was trying to be seductive, and apparently it worked, as the blue eyes in front of him darkened and his hands went back to Levi's hips, his grip much tighter this time. The kiss was much more heated, Levi reached up to grip Erwin's hair, his fingers raking through the golden strands and tugging with insistence. The moment he pulled away for breath, Erwin's mouth was all over his neck and jawline, licking and biting up to his earlobe. Levi's legs lifted and locked around Erwin's waist, bringing him closer.

There was something so surreal about this. Less than ten minutes ago, this guy was just the hot FedEx guy outside his door. Now he was in his house, sliding his palms up Levi's back from beneath his shirt, rubbing deeply into the tense muscles and making Levi groan. They were going to fuck. Levi almost laughed giddily at that thought, but instead, he pushed away to pull his t-shirt over his head, biting back a smirk as Erwin's eyes ate him up. Yeah, he was short, but he stayed in damn good shape. His legs uncurled and he stood up, lightly shoving him back so that he could stalk off to his bedroom, making sure to sway his hips and unbutton his jeans for the man following him. When he reached the foot of his bed, he pushed his jeans and underwear down in one go, feeling Erwin's eyes on him as he climbed up. The second both of his knees were pressed into the mattress, hands were immediately on his ass, rubbing circles, then sliding up and down his milky thighs. He shuttered, feeling heat move through his body and down to his groin.

"Your ass is amazing..." Erwin breathed, voice much lower and more dangerous than what Levi was used to. "I bet that toy would look so good inside you, plugging you up." His hands moved back to Levi's ass, kneading and worshipping. The shorter man moaned quietly.

"Yeah, well, I bet your cock in my ass would look even better." Wow, Levi was on a roll today, with all of these porny lines. He got worried though, when Erwin didn't say anything in response, so he rolled over to sit on the edge and face him. Maybe that was too forward. "You know, because toys have to be washed prior to use and all that, and from what I can see from your shitty uniform pants, it looks like you can definitely hold your own in that department." Okay, so maybe he should have stopped talking. Levi had a habit of talking too brashly and too much altogether.

"No, that was really hot." Erwin's eyes kept darting from Levi's mouth to his dick. He quickly unbuttoned his uniform shirt and Levi got dizzy at the sight of the shirtless man. His chest to waist ratio was... it was like he was some sort of Dorito god. He shook his head of the absurd thought, and reached out to pull him forward by his belt loops, but before Levi could kiss him, Erwin pushed him back, his strong hands maneuvering Levi back to his original position. He took the hint and got back on all fours, excited but also slightly pissed that he couldn’t do much about his erection.

"You were right."

Levi turned his gaze over his shoulder, annoyed that he was just kneeling there while Erwin did nothing but rub his backside and stare at it.

"Right about what? Hurry up."

"You were right. My cock will look so good wrapped up inside your sweet ass."

As much as Levi wanted to melt all over his white duvet at the dirty talk, he had a reputation to uphold. "So get on with it, then. Aren't you supposed to be delivering your package?"

He knew that one was bad, but before he could feel embarrassed about it, Erwin had bent to press his face between Levi's cheeks and boldly lick his hole, making him cry out in shock and pleasure. No one had ever done anything quite this filthy to him. He didn't have much time to philosophize about his sex life, his brain basically shutting down as Erwin relentlessly licked around and into him. Levi's eyes watered when the tongue started fucking into him, stretching him open as much as it could allow, before sucking around the muscle as if he was giving him a fucking hickey. In front of him, Levi was moaning and clutching his bedspread like a lifeline. His cock was aching and dripping onto his duvet, but he didn’t care.

Luckily, Erwin had snagged one of the bottles of lube ahead of time and wasted no time covering his fingers with it, pressing the index into Levi. There wasn't a lot of resistance after the work his tongue had done.

"Talk to me," he said to the train wreck beneath him. Levi had made a lot of noise while Erwin was eating him out, but hadn't said much. He wanted to make sure they were on the same page. "Tell me if I do something you don't like."

"Congratulations, jerk-off, you're doing everything right so fa-- _ahh!_ " He was cut off by Erwin adding his second finger and pressing them both upward into his prostate. "Oh fuck, that's good. That's so good."

He could hear the smirk in Erwin's voice, "Yeah, you like that? I've got something else you might like, hm?"

Levi, not one to be shown up, pushed Erwin's hands away and turned around. "Let's see this 'something else' then." He unzipped Erwin's navy pants and pulled them down his hips. The size of his cock was...ridiculous, to say the least. If Levi were to compare it to a candy bar, it would be considered Jumbo Size. Once again, his mind produced thoughts that made him want to slap himself, so he focused on rubbing his palm over it through Erwin's briefs, enjoying the dark spot at the head, before removing those too. His mouth watered at the rather exceptional dick pointing rigidly towards him. He couldn't even begin to imagine how it would feel inside of him.

Levi's fingers reached out and trailed lightly along the length, rejoicing in Erwin's sharp gasp. He gently rolled the foreskin back, collecting precum and rubbing it down to the base. He was almost saddened that they'd be using a condom. An uncut dick of this proportion- length _and_ girth- was practically a miracle. He supposed they'd just have to see about making this a recurring thing, with a proper paper exchange and everything. Levi figured he'd at least take the risk of blowing him, because _goddamn_ , it would be a sin to not put his mouth on that.

When he put his lips around the thick tip and sucked lightly on it, Erwin let out a low, deep moan, burying his fingers into Levi's silky hair. He quickly bobbed his head a few times to moisten it, only being able to reach a little over halfway down, and turned his attention back on the tip, circling his tongue around the frenulum, then over the slit. Erwin's tensing and noises of approval set him off so bad, he couldn’t help but reach down and touch himself. He didn't get much farther though, as the hands in his hair tightened, and he pulled Levi off.

"What the hell?" He was a little put-off, putting on a show like that only to be told to stop.

Erwin laughed breathlessly, his right hand moving from Levi’s hair to caress his face, "As much as I'd enjoy the sight of me coming down your throat and all over your beautiful face, I think we both would like it even more if I fucked you."

Levi didn't argue.

He moved back towards the pillows against the headboard- half-laying, half-sitting with his feet flat on the bed- to give Erwin room. His tall and muscular body towered as he crawled up towards Levi, his hard, wet cock hanging between his legs, and still trying to fight gravity. He maneuvered himself back between spread legs, one large hand going for Levi's cock, the other still-lubed hand heading down towards Levi's entrance. He started with two fingers, easily finding a slow and steady pace to get the blush back on Levi's cheekbones.

"I must say, you give really good head." He says this almost conversationally, as if he wasn't already three fingers deep in Levi, making him squirm and whine.

"I must say- _unhh_ \- that your cock is quite the motivator." Erwin smiled proudly and curled his fingers, making Levi groan and press his palms down to lever himself as he pushed down on Erwin's hands, trying to fuck himself on the fingers inside of him. "And besides," he panted, "I felt like I should pay you back for eating my ass like it was a fucking ice cream sundae."

Erwin removed his fingers and reached for the condom Levi had tossed toward him earlier. He put it on and applied some lube, before looking directly into Levi's eyes, all seriousness. "You don't need to pay me back for anything. I have been enjoying you and every reaction you have given me more than I can say."

Levi was somewhat shocked. He certainly hadn't expected those words, affectionate as they were, nor had he anticipated the genuine honesty in Erwin's eyes. Suddenly, it felt like more than a casual fuck, but before he could tread into dangerous territory, Erwin's hand was on Levi's shoulder and he was pressing the tip of his dick in.

"Ahhh, _fuck_!" Levi gasped.

"Is this alright?" Erwin asked, jaw clenching and dribbles of sweat starting to form on his temple.

"Yes, god, keep going." Levi was already seeing stars. He was so _thick_ , and the stretch felt incredible.

"You also don't need to call me ‘god,’ just 'Erwin' will do."

" _Fuck off_ , you asshole."

"Did you mean, ‘fuck my asshole?’” Erwin grinned, but was still strained, clearly wanting to bury himself inside of Levi, who growled and tried to push himself further on Erwin's dick, but he wouldn't let him.

"Come on, fucking give it to me."

Erwin pulled out and pushed the tip back in. Again. And again. Erwin picked up his casual tone once more, loving how irate Levi got, "You know, you should really learn to be more polite when you want something. We don't have it too easy in the delivery industry." Levi's small pink mouth fell open in a long whine as Erwin fucked him shallow, his eyebrows furrowing in anger, even though the brutal teasing felt so good.

"Probably because you don't fucking deliver!" Erwin pulled out entirely and waited.

"Ugh, please, Mr. Delivery Man, give it to me harder!" He had meant to sound sarcastic, but realized that he probably just sounded desperate, which, at this point, wasn't entirely inaccurate.

Erwin obliged though, and he did deliver. He pressed in again, bottoming out this time, still not entirely prepared for the hazy pleasure that took him over from the intense tightness around him. Lifting Levi's leg up on his shoulder gave him the angle and leverage he needed to push himself all the way in, as hard as he needed, and swivel his hips upwards to slam into Levi's prostate in almost every thrust. They kept a medium pace at first, so that they could revel in every single sensation, but soon Levi's words became unintelligible, and Erwin could feel his willpower slipping away. His left hand was bruising into Levi's hip as he sped up, nearly drooling at the sight of Levi lifting up to meet each thrust, pushing back into him, hard and fast.

They were going at like it was a marathon. Levi's eyes started to cross, he was louder than he had ever been during sex, moaning like a porn star, and Erwin's sweat was dripping down onto Levi's face in a way that was so dirty and sexy it made him want to scream. The blond man could feel his stomach tensing beyond control, and he held off his orgasm just long enough to wrap his hand around Levi's straining cock, jerking it once, twice, and- _ahh-_ he came harder than he had in forever. He was still thrusting somewhat blindly into the lithe body beneath him and his orgasm intensified as Levi clenched around him, nails digging harshly into Erwin's back. He was just short of screaming as he came, shooting up in spurts over his pale chest, some of it even landing on Erwin's collarbone.

They both panted as Erwin pulled out and collapsed on his back next to Levi, who had a small smile about his open mouth. He looked star-crossed and felt boneless. Without moving, he addressed the man next to him.

"Damn. So what's the rate for _private_ deliveries? Heh." It was rare, but he cracked himself up sometimes.

Erwin huffed, amused, "Pretty sure we have a policy for not prostituting our employees."

"Jeez, you dork," Levi scoffed, "I'm trying to say we should do this again sometime. You seem like you enjoyed yourself."

"Oh, I certainly did. But I think you're forgetting that you have some products that need reviewing." He turned his head to smile slyly at Levi, his blond bangs skewed over his forehead and his deep blue eyes glittering with mischief.

"Right. Wanna help?"

Erwin grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Any writers out there (readers too actually), I am sooo down for some advice and tips. I haven't actively published any fanfiction in years, so I am really, really insecure about my writing. Not so insecure that I can't take critique. I would truly value some input. I feel like my writing is too linear, i.e., "he did this. then this. then this happened.' so on and so forth. I want to get back into a flow and find a new style to work with, but it's not coming very naturally. I’ve basically had creative writer’s block for four years, and have used any talent that I might have had for writing on academic papers (boooring). So if you think it reads well, please let me know! If you think certain things could use some tweaking, please let me know! Thaaank you and HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS EVERYBODY EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT AND GET TRASHED IF YOU CAN, AND DON'T TAKE NO BULLSHIT FROM ANY SHITTY RELATIVES OKAY
> 
> (sidenote- this is very loosely based off a real life occurrence, where I picked up a parcel from an alternative clothing company at the post office and the box said in huge white letters “LET ME OUT BYTCH” and the guy who worked there was laughing his ass off orz. We did not, however, have hot sex. Thankfully.)


End file.
